Grabe! Kelan ba ako huling nag-blog? Ang alam ko hindi pa tapos ung last entry ko about my adventures in Isabela, but I just have to write something new for now (even if my "Suddenly" continues to gain popularity... shocks :D). Andami nang nangyari and I wasn't even able to write my New Year Swak ang Ligwak report for 2011. Anyways, right now I'm getting so excited about so many things kaya next time na ung year end report ko (if that's even relevant, kasi naman March na.
Last December, I started visiting Batangas City for a special reason (mga echosera, iba ang iniisip nyo). After so many years kasi, nasimulan ko na yung matagal ko na'ng promise kay Lord Jesus Christ and that is to work as a missionary. Well, the work I was assigned to do in Batangas is nothing compared sa mga full-time missionaries namin, but hey, kaniya-kaniyang style yan, so please stop comparing me with the other missionaries: my calling is different, given my circumstance. So far, maganda ang response ng lugar sa Gospel and I'm very thankful for Tita Lorefel Antenor-Marinay who has been faithfully assisting me, along with the beautiful Antenor sisters, Marge and Maris; and si Mommy Fely, she's a great cook and very thoughtful.
On top of this, however, a lot of things have been going on--- and should I say tough stuffs. Akala kasi ng iba, superhuman ako. Kung alam nyo lang, andami kong pinagdadaanan recently. I don't blame it on my decision to walk by faith a little farther; in fact, I kind of blame it more on my frailties. As I've said, there are so many things going on right now, and it's just crazy.
Before the end of 2011, I happened to encounter yet another mild confrontation with a client (grabe, di na ako natuto), which again led to my 2nd admin hearing. And always, the Lord is just so gracious to me because He's been making ways to help me out. Kaya lang, what I suddenly realized, as in just now while writing this blog, is that my redemption was not for free--- always, someone has to go. If you will go back to my previous entry, ung Judgement Day part 2, that's when I had my first admin hearing and though I was spared, my little brother/bff na si Gelo Ilagan was not allowed another chance. And this time, after my 2nd hearing, my kumpare, Rodel Dalisay had to go for the same violation I did: Call Handling.
Well, don't react just yet because it's not like what you think. Call handling is very general and subjective, so to speak one call handling case can't be compared as equal to the other. But just the same, regardless of the gravity of the case, the agent is at the mercy of his supervisor (and the upper management). Unfortunately, my kumpare's supervisor did not exert much effort in standing by his side resulting to his expulsion. Pano ko nasabi? My supervisor saw to it that he has enough evidence to show the company that my contributions weigh more than my violations.
In defending me, he actually made himself look like the top villain (again). Kasi naman, kapag agent ng ibang supervisor hindi nakakalusot, pero kapag agent ni "Pulis Pangkalawakan" as they call him, pwedeng lumusot. Well, tell you what: bakit kaya hindi niyo sisihin ang mga supervisors ninyo for not believing in your team mates? I feel sorry that your team mates (which happen to be my best friends in the company) had to go, but that's because some people just didn't work hard enough to save them. Just so you know, my supervisor continues to monitor my progress and ensures I won't fall for the same trap again. Suki nga ako ng corrective actions recently, and I have this feeling na he's doing it para umayaw na ako at mag-resign (mahabaging langit, wag naman sana :D); but I have to see the wisdom behind why he's doing it. Otherwise, ako mismo ang wawasak sa sarili ko.
So sabi ko maraming nangyayari, diba? Isa pa lang yan. Because I've been going through a lot of emotional turmoils recently, naapektuhan na ang work performance ko, and I'm unconsciously forming a bad habit of coming late for work on more than a few occasions. At dahil beyond acceptable na siya, again, I have to sign a corrective action. May isa lang talaga na hindi ko matanggap. Last March 1, 2012 imagine, first day of the month at ang traffic was just exaggerated. I woke up at 4:45AM and was already at the station at 6:21AM only to find out na walang biyahe kasi may hulihan ng mga colorum vans, so I texted my TL to let him know that I might come late for work. Pero siyempre, I don't plan of coming late again kaya kinapalan ko ang mukha ko at tinawagan ko ang isa ko pang BFF, si Kenken (nabanggit ko rin siya sa Judgement Day part 3)at naki-hitch ako sa kotse nila para lang wag ako'ng ma-late.
And kaso mo, yung mga magagaling na traffic enforcers, uhm, actually, hindi sila magagaling, yung mga buwiset, as in buwiset, na mga traffic enforcers pinabagal yung flow ng lane namin habang yung ibang lanes eh para'ng wala lang. We were stuck in the traffic for more than an hour, at dahil yan sa mga buwiset na traffic enforcers. Ganon kasi sila pag may hulihan, sinasadya nila ang traffic para yung mga mainip at mag-violate ay mahuli nila-- again, mga buwiset sila. I took a video of that incident and I'll upload it in youtube para mapanuod ninyo at ni Tulfo.
Yang mga buwiset na traffic enforcers na yan ang sisira ng career ko. Isipin mo, hindi ako tanghali gumising; hindi rin ako tanghali umalis ng bahay. Kung hindi dahil sa mga enforcers na yun, hindi ako mali-late. Ending, pirma na naman ako ng corrective action which was so hard---as in so hard to accept kasi hindi ko matanggap na fault ko iyon. Nakakainis. Hanggang ngayon, kumukulo ang dugo ko sa mga enforcers na yun. And at this point, hindi ko makuha ang logic ng Courageous Integrity. I got late because of some stupid enforcers, but I have to sign a corrective action because regardless of the circumstance, late ako and that's it. What about my integrity? Can we not put it into consideration as well? Nakakainis lang talaga.
As much as I respect my supervisor for standing up for me, he still has a lot to learn as a leader, and one of which is listening to his subordinates. He has this tendency of being defensive when we express our feelings. Kailangan ba mag-react agad-agad? Hindi ba pwede'ng makinig muna? His "empathy spiels" are useless kasi it doesn't match with what he's really saying when he takes the defensive mode. He'd say, "I understand how you feel about such and such..." but his delivery means otherwise. On top of that, he also needs to come up with a fresh psychological attack. You can't keep on using the same lines over and over again when trying to persuade and convince a person. Every time I hear him tell me na, "have you ever thought of your family who depends on you?", or "where else can you find a job that pays this much?", or "What would you tell your church mates kung umalis ka ng HSBC kasi na-terminate ka?" gusto ko'ng sabihin "I KNOW, RIGHT? Like I haven't heard you say that before..."
Modesty aside, walang tao'ng nabubuhay sa mundo ang kaya'ng tumakot sa akin about losing my job. And if I lose it because I got
fired, trust me, it's not for you to decide whether I'd be ashamed to tell the world about it or not. I know what it was like living in scarcity, and I am not afraid of living that life again if it means finding a peace of mind.
I do not take my job for granted because God gave this to me (see Summer Rain entry), but if God decides to pull me out of it whether by his perfect will or because of my blunders, I am more than happy to accept it. As Mary had said it: "Behold, the servant of the Lord: be it unto me according to Your Word"
Alam ko na I can't stay in HSBC longer than I had wished for kasi, God is opening doors to Japan-- my dream country. By faith, I will be out of the Philippines before 2012 ends, and I'm sure that a lot of great things are waiting for me there. So help me God :D
There are still a lot of things that I appreciate about my friend, and I really wished she wouldn't have to leave our team. But friends, just like many things, they come and go. And even though nothing lasts forever, Nadel will always have a special place in my heart. The Gregorians will surely miss you, Nadz. And I'll miss our coffee sessions, our recap of the previous City Hunter episodes, our emotional ups and downs, our rendition of Rhianna's Umbrella, and our animemories.
Continue to be the free-spirited that you are, and always be happy. 
